As sad as I was to see Breaking Bad leave us,  it’s nice that Netflix lets me visit the Whites for an occasional weekend binge-fest.  Despite all the reasons I wanted it to continue for another season(s), I get some relief knowing I won’t have to watch rapidly aging RJ Mitte (Walt Jr.) claw through the cupboards in search of his after-school snacks.  I mean, I can suspend reality just as much as the next guy, but sometimes when a plot line moves at 20% of real-time, it’s tough to believe that grandpa man-child is prepping for the PSATs.

Not so shocking to see Walt Jr. eating, but a little surprising that he actually left the house to do it.

It did get me thinking that this practice of posing adults as kids is not typical of the usually pedophilia-prone producers, so I did a quick dig to see if there were any other age-inappropriate surprises.  Some findings were expected (wasn’t Gary Coleman like 53 when he played 10-year old Arnold on Diff’rnt Strokes?), but others  (like 34-year old Bianca Lawson, playing 16yo Maya on Pretty Little Liars) sent me searching for a few more Identity Thieves.

It seems the most notable are Stockard Channing (then 34) playing an 18-year old Rizzo in Grease (I suppose the “worst thing she could do” would be to have another birthday before the wrap party), the now late Cory Monteith (30 playing 18-year old Finn on Glee) and Audrey Hepburn, 32 playing a Holly Golightly of 18.

Sometimes though, time ticks faster than you can shake a Kabuki brush at a makeup artist and a drastic measure may be in order.  Such action was at least once taken and is a call for props to the team at CWTV’s One Tree Hill for realizing that their soon-to-be-post-menopausal 2008 high-schoolers needed a much needed trip in a time machine (or at minimum a tuck).  The solution? Bring ’em back next year as college graduates!  Although I would have loved to have seen Nate go through his “experimental phase” with his frat brothers, it was nothing short of a smoothly calculated WB bitchslap to critics!  Well played OTH…well played.

Nathan Scott (James Rafferty) finished the 2007 season of OTH as jail-bait and returned in 2008 as a beefy (and very legal), musky slab of man meat. Fucking WOOF!

And, despite my contempt for Walt Junior and his Gogurts, I suppose it’s a nice shift from the foam-finger-banging Disney discards cluttering up my Huff-Post Twitter feed. Oh, and because I’m a dick, I hope that in five years, all the Lovatos and Efrons of today are still bouncing in and out of rehab jonesin’ to “Benjamin Button” their way into a steady-paying gig tomorrow.

Or they could do us all a favor, and oh, I don’t know…grow up?

XO

Scotty

Twitter  @scott_parks_

Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/mcarthurparks?ref=hl

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