That’s it, I’ve had it. I can’t look at one more person wearing pajamas in public as if it’s okay. It’s not okay!

I get it, there’s a gray area for everything. You just have to hit the drive-thru at CVS? That’s cool. PJ’s allowed.

Gotta get gas? Easily solved with one question: Self Service? – throw on some jeans or shorts. Full Service? – PJ’s are given the go-ahead.

• Grocery shopping – No PJ’s allowed. Ever.
• Movies – Never, unless you’re under 11
• Post Office – Jeans
• Work – See employee handbook
• Walk the dog – No pajamas, no exceptions!

What kind of world are we in where the Camel-toe is a step forward? Pajamas reinforce the global opinion of a lazy America.  At least the Camel-toe says “hey, I was too busy to look at my twat.”

I’m begging anyone who is thinking about bouncing around town in their Dr. Denton’s to please think like a Patriot. Save the flannels for bedtime and hike up those yoga pants before hitting the Piggly Wiggly.

Do it for your Country.

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